physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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