The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
