I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
