I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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