I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was born a porn star she said
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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