I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize