He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
