yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
