I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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