Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
