My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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