dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
