She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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