Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
