4 words: hood of his car
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
