My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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