McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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