i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
