Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
