I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I said "one day" and that day is not today
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
