I just threw up on my dentist
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
