I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
