i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she smelled like a LAN party
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
