I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
