Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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