Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
