Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
