real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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