tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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