suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
