He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
