WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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