do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
