Cold hands, warm shart.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
