Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
