i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
