Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
