Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
