I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
