Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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