We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
