Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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