I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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