Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
