Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
