We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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