I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
