I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
