apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
