ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
