do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
