That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
