Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
