It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
