i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
