You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
