Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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