big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
