careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
