Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
