I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize