You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
