I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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