He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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