just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
