You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
