road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
