You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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