Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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