So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
