remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
