I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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