I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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