I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize