pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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