I love black thongs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
