I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
