before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
