I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
