i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Green mimosas i think yes
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
