dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize