You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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